Is That Viggo?

Last night I was watching the Oscars, and lo, what should I see on the red carpet but this -

How adorable is he? Eastern Promises, indeed. And if you could see the frock coat he's wearing you would know he's given new meaning to term distinguished. What I've learned is that I think he's hot no matter how much or how little facial hair he's sporting, and that's good to know.

To cast your own vote on the sexiness, go here.

Wait...grammar can be sexy?

Had a birthday. Hurray. (maybe you can't read sarcasm in that sentence so I'll spell it out for you.) Hurray *sarcasm*.

As a reverse birthday present, here is a link to Thamiris' Sexed Up Grammar Guide. I love this site. I didn't know grammar could be so darned entertaining. If you like erotica, you will enjoy this site. If you like grammar, you will enjoy this site. If you liked the tv show Xena or Hercules, and grammar, and erotica, you will think you have died and gone to heaven.

Disclaimer* I think you can tell by the title that adult language is used at Thamiris' Sexed Up Grammar Guide. Just so you know.

You know what? After reading that again, I'm smiling. Odysseys and Ecstasy: Grammar totally made my week, y'all.

Revelations

Snow day. Ugh.

I'd post a picture but it's too depressing. Two feet of snow on the back deck.

But, hey, this is funny. This past weekend I found out I am ten times less cool than I thought I was. I was called on my pronunciation of the word "blog." Twice. Because I've been saying bee-log, not blog (that rhymes with slog.) And I've heard it pronounced correctly, I know I have. My brain, however, is dyslexic when it comes to this term and to me, blog and b-log, are interchangable. Ugh. At this point, I don't think it's correctable.

We had playdoh out today - every single can we own. As we cleaned up pink squishy blobs from the floor, my daughter says - "What do you do when you have to put a trash can in a trash can?"

Are you an Evil Overlord?

Ugh. Let's get a new post so my wrongness can be hidden. Not that I'm not pleased. I've even been accused of jinxing the poor Patriots. Hmmm, if that's true, I wonder if this talent translates to other sports/awards venues. Like, can I say Viggo Mortensen absolutely has no chance of winning an Oscar? I would love to be wrong about that.

Now, as a writer, I understand the urge to have a villain monologuing on their cleverness. It's called exposition, people. And yet, at times, when such a thing occurs it defies logic and turns your villain from a mastermind genius into Charlie from "Flowers for Algernon."

To avoid that, here's the top ten items from Peter's Evil Overlord list.

The Top 100 Things I'd Do If I Ever Became An Evil Overlord

1. My Legions of Terror will have helmets with clear plexiglass visors, not face-concealing ones.

2. My ventilation ducts will be too small to crawl through.

3. My noble half-brother whose throne I usurped will be killed, not kept anonymously imprisoned in a forgotten cell of my dungeon.

4. Shooting is not too good for my enemies.

5. The artifact which is the source of my power will not be kept on the Mountain of Despair beyond the River of Fire guarded by the Dragons of Eternity. It will be in my safe-deposit box. The same applies to the object which is my one weakness.

6. I will not gloat over my enemies' predicament before killing them.

7. When I've captured my adversary and he says, "Look, before you kill me, will you at least tell me what this is all about?" I'll say, "No." and shoot him. No, on second thought I'll shoot him then say "No."

8. After I kidnap the beautiful princess, we will be married immediately in a quiet civil ceremony, not a lavish spectacle in three weeks' time during which the final phase of my plan will be carried out.

9. I will not include a self-destruct mechanism unless absolutely necessary. If it is necessary, it will not be a large red button labelled "Danger: Do Not Push". The big red button marked "Do Not Push" will instead trigger a spray of bullets on anyone stupid enough to disregard it. Similarly, the ON/OFF switch will not clearly be labelled as such.

10. I will not interrogate my enemies in the inner sanctum -- a small hotel well outside my borders will work just as well.

(To see all 100 click here)

This Evil Overlord List is Copyright 1996-1997 by Peter Anspach. If you enjoy it, feel free to pass it along or post it anywhere, provided that (1) it is not altered in any way, and (2) this copyright notice is attached.

Superbowl - Or How The Patriots Cut a Swathe Through History

Yeah, it's early, and I may have to change the title, but I have a bad feeling about this. I say a bad feeling, because despite having a husband who is right now colored head to toe in Patriot red, blue and silver, I, on the other hand, am not all about them. Mainly because I'm sick of them winning. I always love underdogs. Nobody likes an unbeatable juggernaut, yo.

And that's just what the Superbowl was missing, by the way, a red carpet decorated by Ryan Seacrest. Thank goodness they've rectified that oversight. Maybe next year they can give away goody bags.

Oh! Kickoff. Nirvana.