Are you an Evil Overlord?

Ugh. Let's get a new post so my wrongness can be hidden. Not that I'm not pleased. I've even been accused of jinxing the poor Patriots. Hmmm, if that's true, I wonder if this talent translates to other sports/awards venues. Like, can I say Viggo Mortensen absolutely has no chance of winning an Oscar? I would love to be wrong about that.

Now, as a writer, I understand the urge to have a villain monologuing on their cleverness. It's called exposition, people. And yet, at times, when such a thing occurs it defies logic and turns your villain from a mastermind genius into Charlie from "Flowers for Algernon."

To avoid that, here's the top ten items from Peter's Evil Overlord list.

The Top 100 Things I'd Do If I Ever Became An Evil Overlord

1. My Legions of Terror will have helmets with clear plexiglass visors, not face-concealing ones.

2. My ventilation ducts will be too small to crawl through.

3. My noble half-brother whose throne I usurped will be killed, not kept anonymously imprisoned in a forgotten cell of my dungeon.

4. Shooting is not too good for my enemies.

5. The artifact which is the source of my power will not be kept on the Mountain of Despair beyond the River of Fire guarded by the Dragons of Eternity. It will be in my safe-deposit box. The same applies to the object which is my one weakness.

6. I will not gloat over my enemies' predicament before killing them.

7. When I've captured my adversary and he says, "Look, before you kill me, will you at least tell me what this is all about?" I'll say, "No." and shoot him. No, on second thought I'll shoot him then say "No."

8. After I kidnap the beautiful princess, we will be married immediately in a quiet civil ceremony, not a lavish spectacle in three weeks' time during which the final phase of my plan will be carried out.

9. I will not include a self-destruct mechanism unless absolutely necessary. If it is necessary, it will not be a large red button labelled "Danger: Do Not Push". The big red button marked "Do Not Push" will instead trigger a spray of bullets on anyone stupid enough to disregard it. Similarly, the ON/OFF switch will not clearly be labelled as such.

10. I will not interrogate my enemies in the inner sanctum -- a small hotel well outside my borders will work just as well.

(To see all 100 click here)

This Evil Overlord List is Copyright 1996-1997 by Peter Anspach. If you enjoy it, feel free to pass it along or post it anywhere, provided that (1) it is not altered in any way, and (2) this copyright notice is attached.

Superbowl - Or How The Patriots Cut a Swathe Through History

Yeah, it's early, and I may have to change the title, but I have a bad feeling about this. I say a bad feeling, because despite having a husband who is right now colored head to toe in Patriot red, blue and silver, I, on the other hand, am not all about them. Mainly because I'm sick of them winning. I always love underdogs. Nobody likes an unbeatable juggernaut, yo.

And that's just what the Superbowl was missing, by the way, a red carpet decorated by Ryan Seacrest. Thank goodness they've rectified that oversight. Maybe next year they can give away goody bags.

Oh! Kickoff. Nirvana.

All Kinds Of Awesome

I just finished Extreme Danger by Shannon Mckenna, and that book was all kinds of awesome. Shannon Mckenna is one of my favorite authors, so much so that I went the day the book was released and plunked down $14.00 for it. The author has an MO which includes damaged alpha heroes, extreme danger (see what I did there?), hot sex, angry sex, and a knack for description that can be poetic at times. Ms. Mckenna describes an orgasm as "a glittering sugar rush" which is not only creative, as writing should be and not always is, but rings true. Her books are not for the faint of heart, as she doesn't shy away from emotionally and physically tortorous situations. This one dealt with organ harvesting, and none of the sections dealing with that were pretty. Not easy, but at the end I was wrung out as only a good book can do.

For those wanting to see the video, which I strongly advise against, email me and I'll send you the link. The most important thing I learned from the whole fan/music video exercise? Make sure you really, really, really love the song you use, and the show, because you are about to hear the song a thousand times, and comb through hours of episodes to find just the right moment. Darn it, was it episode 2.14 where actor/actress gasped in horror and turned their face to the left while the camera panned in for a really emotional shot? But I really loved it and am currently working on a second one. Another unforeseen bonus is that I come out of Windows Movie Maker in excellent writing frame of mind. I mean, just in a focused, take no prisoners, cut pages and pages if I have to frame of mind.

Torchwood Captain Jack&Captain John

Think you might like M/M? Well, this is a chance for you to find out. This is a fan video of the BBC series Torchwood. It contains James Marsters, for you Buffy fans out there, and is totally what everyone saw on TV, so it's not that graphic. Warning: contains male kissing and fighting to some kickass music.

Hot Ticket

K A Mitchell's newest is out this week - Hot Ticket. Ms. Mitchell is able to take ordinary young men and make you care for them without them being werewolves or cowboys. Nice trappings - I gravitate towards them myself - but I admire Ms. Mitchell's ability to tell a contemporary romance that's simply about two people connecting. That's all Cade and Elliott are - regular guys. I mean, one is a waiter and the other a travel agent - you can't get more regular than that. I really enjoyed this story, and my only comment would be - write faster, write longer. Please.

Elliot Graham doesn’t make mistakes. So when he ends up serving community service at a recycling plant for inadvertently buying stolen property, he’s certain it’s the worst thing that’s ever happened to him. That is, until he finds tickets to a sold-out concert in the trash, tickets that immediately disappear into the pocket of the hottest—and most exasperating—guy he’s ever met.

Cade McKuen has never been one to follow society’s expectations. That’s why he’s serving time sorting trash for destroying his cheating ex-lover’s car rather than apologize. Finding those tickets is an unexpected bonus to an otherwise smelly sentence. But when cute, sputtering Elliot claims a share, Cade decides community service might be the best thing that’s happened to him all year.

Cade is determined to keep Elliot off balance and tap into the passion he senses is hidden under that buttoned-down exterior. Elliot is fascinated by Cade’s outrageous way of thumbing his nose at the world.

Opposites attract, but can passion be the ticket to something lasting?

Dragon Partee!

Paranormal Romance is spotlighting Dragons this month. Hop on over for a long list of Dragon themed romances, interviews, and other special features.

The entire household is gearing up for the New England Patriot's game tonight. I have to root for whoever they're playing against just to be contrary. Srsly, how many games can they win? Though Tom Brady and Randy Moss are cute together.

DH's attention will be focused solely on the game from start to finish. We've had an invite to watch with friends, but he's refused on the grounds that he doesn't want to be distracted. Heh.

Video Madness

The video is done. Mostly. The question is, do I keep the craziness to myself or post it for everyone to see? Hmmm. The part of me that's able to write love scenes and send it out for general consumption says, "Post the darn thing. You know you want to."

I also think I should attend film school so I can direct and write my own book trailers. Hire actors. Steady cams. Wardrobe. Lighting. I am out of control.